Self-Harm

Hello,

Warning: This is a sensitive post and if you can’t handle the topic of self-harm. Don’t read. I am also writing from my POV and that doesn’t mean it should be compared to anyone else.

Since I am talking about depression, I thought it would be good to brush up on the topic of self-harm. There are many forms of self-harm and reasons why people self-harm that isn’t thought about. People who have never harmed themselves never really understand why.

I know because I was caught harming myself when I was younger. Cutting your arms was what some of the girls in my school did. It was our way of elevating the stress that we had. We all had a hard upbringing. When I saw that the other girls were cutting themselves, one night when I was upset I decided to do it. It was never deep because that scared me but it did make me feel better. As I grew up and talked to my therapists, I realized that my reason for self-harm is like hurting the person at fault. I self-blame and so I self-harm. Does that make sense? Like being mad at that girl in the street for stepping on your new shoes so you push her over. I would blame myself for getting yelled at my dad or being upset because of some stupid issue in school. Now, I mostly get mad at my financial issues. Not being able to afford school and having my parents working so hard to pay for me to go and be healthy and it hurts me that I can’t help them.

It’s not a good way to deal with frustration, I know but in the moment of being so upset, it feels good to have the release or that focus from being in such a shitty moment. I have never wanted to kill myself. NEVER. I want to live until I’m old and saggy and have people that I love around me, I want to see how the rest of my life turns out. I want to stress again that I have NEVER wanted to die. Self-harm does not always mean suicide, there are helpful ways to deal with it that I have never looked up until now and I will put it into practice. The rest of this post is gonna be a bunch of links and copied shit I think the information that I’m finding is more telling than what I can tell. I’m writing this so that people know that it’s a thing and not something to brush under the rug,

Here is a list of forms of self-harm its all from this site):

Scratching or pinching – this behavior included severely scratching or pinching with fingernails or objects to the point that bleeding occurred or marks remained on the skin. This method of self-injury was seen in more than half of all students who reported participating in self-harm.
Impact with objects – this self-harming behavior included banging or punching objects to the point of bruising or bleeding. This way to self-harm was seen in just over 37% of the self-harming students.
Cutting – while cutting is often considered synonymous with self-harm, this way of self-mutilation only occurred in just over 1-in-3 students who reported self-harming. Cutting is more common among females.
Impact on oneself – this self-injury method includes banging or punching oneself to the point of bruising or bleeding. This way to self-injury was seen in almost 25% of the students who reported self-harming behaviors.
Ripped skin – this way of self-mutilation includes ripping or tearing the skin. This type of self-injury was seen in just under 16% of those who admitted to self-harming behaviors.
Carving – this way of self-harm is when a person carves words or symbols into the skin. This is separate from cutting. This method of self-mutilation was identified by just under 15% of those who self-harm.
Interfering with healing – this way of self-mutilation is often in combination with other types of self-harm. In this case, a person purposefully hampers the healing of wounds. This method of self-harm was used by 13.5% of respondents.
Burning – Burning skin is a way of self-mutilation. Burning as a way of self-injury was seen in 12.9% of students who self-harmed.
Rubbing objects into the skin – this type of self-harm involves the rubbing of sharp objects, such as glass, into the skin. Twelve percent of responding students used this way to self-harm.
Hair-pulling – this way to self-harm is medically known as trichotillomania. In trichotillomania, a person feels compelled to pull out their own hair and in some cases even ingest that hair. This type of self-injury was seen in 11% of students who self-harmed.