Getting confidence.

It’s hard when you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see. My face looks so foreign to me and I look at my body and I don’t like how I like. I promise it wasn’t always like that.

Is it normal to wake up and just want a change? Like I just want people to see me how I normally see myself. A sexy badass who is hella chill. lol. I don’t feel like what I’m giving to the world is who I am and that is what makes me feel bad.

Comments that I received earlier this year made me feel uncomfortable with my body. I tried to not let it affect me but it did. Now, I am so self-conscious about my body. Mt stomach hasn’t been flat since I was like 15/16 and my face is round (though I have always been a chubby-cheeked kid, I don’t know why that is bothering me.)

I think my best option is not to sit around and feel sorry for myself. I think what I need to do is make myself feel better about myself. I’ve been getting up some days and started exercising. I’m looking into buying some lingerie to make myself feel confident (although only I will see it). I want to wear clothes that represent me.

I am a baggy t-shirt and high wasted jeans kinda girl but I do enjoy wearing blouses and dressy pants. I want to be able to express myself and I feel like that would give me the confidence boost that I need. I’m tired of thinking I’m not good enough because I’m not as small as my friends or my favorite youtuber. I want to take the steps I need to feel good about myself.

I have too many people around me who complain about their bodies daily and complain about my body too. I wish people could just look in the mirror and enjoy themselves. I wish people could stop comparing themselves to their earlier years or just comparing in general. If you’re healthy, that is all that’s important. I think that this change in how I view myself happened because of the people I hang out with. People who feel like cheap diets will change how you view yourself. I can honestly say that even if I did lose my stomach, I could start focusing on something else that I want to change. I want to learn to love myself and learn that if someone won’t love me for how my body is, then they don’t deserve me.

I am hoping to buy myself some things that will make me feel like the person I am. I want to keep doing some exercises because that will keep me healthy. I just want to feel great about my body.

 

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