It’s back.


Guess who is anxious again!🙃 I was hoping beyond home that I’d actually have a hold on this for this semester but all I feel like I’m doing is spiraling. I had my first therapy session which went great. I learned how to better organize my time. It’s putting it into action and not stressing about it while I do everything that is the issue. I do not want to crash and burn. I REALLY do not want to. I know it happens to the best of us but I’d rather it not happen at all.

All of my studies are hard because I have so many books to read. I’m expected to read like 6-11 chapters within a week in each class. I just feel like I’m drowning. I’ve been trying to think of things that I enjoy so that I don’t feel like I’m sliding under.

I love Autumn and being cozy (It’s been fucking hot for the past few days. I can’t even wear a jean jacket without sweating)

I love candles (The candles that I got don’t have a strong smell)

Food isn’t comforting me. Nor is booze. I can’t lay in bed for too long because I get restless. I don’t feel centered or chill. I feel like I’m jittering everywhere. I have my special comforts. I just don’t know how to incorporate them into my stress.

If I’m honest, I never thought anxiety was a big issue for me. I know I have it but I thought it was my depression that ruled most of my brain. I look at my friends who have panic attacks and can’t do something because of their anxiety and I just think that it’s not me. I know that when comparing my own mental health issues to others, they shrink in comparison. I still think it is good to talk about it. My panic attacks happen so infrequently that I forget what its like to have them.

Anyways, I wish I could find a way to help myself. I have meditation apps. I want to get back into yoga. I want to follow a schedule and eat healthy. I’ve been so tired these past few days.

If you have any tips. Comment, please. I’ll be posting again on Monday!✌🏾

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