Just got my first hit of anxiety/depression. It surprises me. It sneaks up like a ninja and sinks its claws in me. It happens when I’m overwhelmed. Too much input. Too much happening and things to think about. It makes me wonder if I had the strength to take on as much as I’d like. I don’t feel very strong right now. I just feel like I should take it easy. I get waves of bad thoughts and I don’t know how to push them out. My ways of getting rid of them before were bad and now I want to figure out healthier ways. I feel like locking myself in. But I know it would harm more than help. I’ve been looking into figuring out what I like and what I need. I’d love a nice cozy sweater and hot chocolate but it’s like 80 degrees. I’m listening to Dodie Clark’s sad love songs and singing alone. My friend Jade is gonna come by to watch movies with me.
I think I should get into my leisure readings. I’m gonna show the books I loved and read and books I’d love to read. Its long but, I love books and I’m so stressed. I don’t feel good in my dome piece. I want to cry and scream and sit in a corner alone. Instead, I’ll write this long post.
Harry Potter series – Always makes me feel good. Plus, the audiobooks read by Stephen Fry is great to fall asleep to.
Throne of Glass Series – I love a badass heroine. I will always recommend this book. The 6th book just came out and I’ve love to read it but I do know it will take over my whole life.
Raven’s Boys Series – This book series is so good. I head it last August before going away to school and I loved it so much. Her prose is so good. I loved this! It’s all kinds of witchy.
Cassandra Clare anything – Her writing takes you to a whole new place. I just get swept away. Her books are written in the same realm button at different time periods. They’re all so fucking good. I love being washed away by this new world. Lady Midnight just got the second book and I WANT TO READ IT! I’m just poor and Overdrive doesn’t have it yet.
The Lunar Chronicles – This book series took me on a trip. It was wild and so much fun. I loved reading their stories.
Legend – I can honestly say I don’t remember reading this book. I want to reread it. I read it in high school. Could have been six years ago, sophomore year! Geez. I loved how the book series ended though.
Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things – This book inspired me to write my blog. It’s all about mental health and embracing who you are. This book made me want to figure out how I can make my life better. I’m still working on that.
Which is why, after last Friday and I noticed how mean I was to people while drinking. My mood has been so bad lately. I don’t know what it is. I was drunk and mean and I’m just not gonna drink anymore. I’ve been wanting to for a while but last Friday made me want to seriously do it. I’m starting out with a month. I like starting with baby steps. Fridays will be hard because everyone drinks on Friday. Having alcoholics in my family scares me and I don’t want to go down that path. I want healthy ways to cope and get through life. I’m going to make a therapy appointment in the hopes that I can get on some medication. I hate this feeling.
In other news, I want to start a series called Empowerment Monday’s (working title) where I post articles about the amazing women in my life. The women who keep me going. It’s a new approach, anew focus and I’m excited to start things up. Not exactly sure when I’ll begin but here’s a heads up!