Howdy, sweet loves!
First off, I’d like to say what I learned this week. This week, I learned that I am a SUPER chatty person. If you know me, you will find this realization is hella strange. I’m always chatty, I do so many damn videos of me talking aimlessly. How did I just figure this out? Now that I’ve noticed this, I realize that I need to surround myself with people who talk. People who can express themselves fully and people who can share all of their emotions. I love when people tell me what’s going on with them. I need to know what’s going on with people, especially if I’m involved. I won’t thoroughly stress out my need for communication. I just really hope you get what I’m saying. It will be further explained below.
Now Let me tell you guys about how amazing my damn roommates are. I love living with my best friends especially because we get to have deep late night chats. Thursday night after Cheese Club, we talked about communications. I told them all that I refuse to date someone who won’t be able to communicate with me about their feelings and their thoughts. I need someone to give me deep thoughts. I seriously need that.
Our conversation turned into us discussing what we want in those we date, then we talked about men. Here is another epiphany, men don’t talk about their feelings. I’ve been wondering why I don’t have many male friends when I know I love having guys around. Then I realized that I have a hard time befriending guys because they don’t talk about how they feel.
I notice that many of my male friends would joke and twist their words when I want to talk about something deep or involving feelings. As if their feelings can’t be taken seriously. We also discussed how many of our gay male friends have an easier time being expressive. I can have a deep chat with some of my gay friends and we can cry and laugh and just keep talking but my straight friends? Its like I’m yanking their teeth!
Of course, it’s because our society is built in a way that men aren’t allowed to be expressive. They are “supposed” to be these strong people who don’t have emotions and are simply cheerful instead of well-rounded individuals with complex feelings and emotions like anyone else. Men aren’t different from females, it’s just that it’s more difficult for them to express their own needs.
For example, say I’ve been having an anxiety week. At the end of that week, I would call my therapist to call a friend or my mom. Someone I know would sooth all of my feelings or just simmer me down.
Now, I’ve had male friends that have had stressful weeks. I would not know about it for fucking months until they randomly bring it up. I’d say, “You know you could call me and talk to me if that ever happens again” and they’d say something like, “Yea, I know”. Then the next time, once again, I won’t hear about it for months. They try dealing with their shit all by themselves as if they’re so mighty and can handle everything. Even emotions!
When in reality, no one really can handle emotions. Which is why asking for support is so amazing but it can also be hard. We discussed the men in our lives who have suffered in some way or another but refused to get help, it’s seen as a weakness. We all have things that we struggle with, it’s just easier when you can share those issues with someone.
All this to say, boys, girls love a good chat. Whether you’re a straight or gay male, great communication can go a long way. How great would it be if someone simply told you that they liked or did not like you? If someone just came up to you and set their own boundaries without you simply guessing. I think communicating about what’s happening to you is so therapeutic.
Talking about what’s happening with you, with your environment, with your life. It’s so impactful. It’s letting all your shit out and expressing. Expression is amazing. Let people see all of you and your thoughts and opinions. You are so valid in everything. In your feelings and your place in this world. Please let this be something you work on, expressing and understanding. It’s so powerful!