Hey all, I was trying not to post anything when I’m feeling so negative. I actually wanted to post when being in a positive mindset. I felt like I’d get in one when I finally ate and got into bed but that’s not really working for me. So, I will vent.
Today has been so long and exhausting. I’ve been tired all day but I went to my classes and my conferences with my teachers. I now know for certain that I’m passing all my classes which is dope. I did just find out that I have more work that needs to be done and I feel like I have no time to get everything done.
Tomorrow is going to be long because I have work and the rest of my days will be weird because I’m squeezing things into my days because there are so many things that need to be done. I’m squeezing in appointments and chatting with my best friend and mom.
I honestly just want to be home. I doubt my thoughts are coming across as full and thought out but this is totally just a blog entry. I want to be home because I want to be alone. I feel like while at school, I’m surrounded by negativity and loud noises. After a long and stressful day, I want to talk to and be around people who are positive and loving. I try and get my chats in with my best friend because her energy supports me so much. Like when I feel like I’m dragging down. She is so positive to me. She supports me in all of my moods and listens to me which is exactly what I need. Like if I’m tired and I look tired, she will catch on and be herself and still support my mood. If that makes sense.
I feel like this apartment is too small and the walls are too thin and having time alone or just silence isn’t something that has been happening. I don’t want to beg for some peace. It’s even more frustrating because while working, I have no time off to go home to Brooklyn and have some chill time.
I really just want quiet and to be in bed and get some sleep. To not be bothered by loud laughing from the next room or someone screaming about procrastination. Too much goes on here and I just want to have some chill.
Today, I am negative Nay. I feel it in my bones. Especially because I need to get up at like 6am tomorrow to work all day and I have homework due. Which means that I need to get it all done tonight. If I can physically have my Brooklyn besties right here in my bed with me, I’d be so satisfied.
Alright, let’s hope Friday is more positive. I love having a positive mindset. Being tired, its hard to look for the good. I have peaks of brightness every day it’s just hard to focus on that.