Let me start this off by saying, the transition of coming home this time around is much harder than I first anticipated. I’ve been sick and fatigued. Today, I started feeling trickles of depression so, I know that what I need to do today is write.
This may sound weird but since I’ve been back, waking up has been the hardest. I wake up and my whole body is achy and sore. Just moving around has bee painful.
I have this thing that doctors always call “growing pains”. I would go to the doctor when I was ten with knee problems and they’d say it was “growing pains”. For some reason, I’ve had issues with my joints which I tend to let get in the way. I had so many desires to be athletic and then some part of my body would hurt.
Last year, I jumped down some steps while drunk and hurt an ankle and a knee. Then somehow my wrists started hurting again. These aches went away but then last December, I tripped while hiking and my right ankle was sprung.
The injury didn’t have the time to properly heal because retail work keeps you on your feet. Six months later, the pain went from one foot up to my hip and then to the other foot. My body started compensating for the imbalance and now, moving makes me feel like an old woman.
Now that I’m home, my doctor said that this injury is taking far too long to heal and so, I am in the process of figuring out what’s up with scans and soon, physical therapy.
This summer, I wanted to start running. I just had a feeling that if I ran, I can get a better handle on my anxiety and all the pressure I’ve felt all year. I guess I’m feeling kind of thrown because now that I’m back, I can’t do what I planned. I’m taking a step back to try and see what my other options could be. Now that the day is ending, I realized I can still focus on my daily yoga instead of feeling so sorry for myself and my inability to run.
Being home tends to make me feel stressed because I feel like people expect so much from me. I feel like everyone wants me to do something or be someone for them and I’m trying to sort everything out for myself. Trying to sort out my placement and getting boundaries now that I have returned. A fellow blogger named Nia mentioned that she intentionally takes time to get herself on track when she returns home. Please read her post, it’s really good.
I’ve been kinda getting into my witchy stuff. My lavender plant is kind of dying and I need to recharge my crystals to give me positive energy and all that jazz! I want to find other options to adjust and get myself back into it. It made me feel so good and clear when I focused on my witchy stuff so, it’s definitely gonna be back in my life. I also started reading A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. It’s a well-loved series and I’m slowly getting into it. I got the book on Audible and I bought the book the first time I went to London.
I’m slowly getting hopeful as I write this post. A total change of moods! I want to start writing again and I want to post them on my blog. I want to write stories, book reviews/bookish posts, foodie posts. I just really want to wake up ready for the day and then I can get through my Summer To-Do List
One blog that I started to follow, dearmyclosestfriend on Tumblr, has all of these awesome tips that I think would help me out if I implemented the advice into my life. I am loving advice columns ATM. It’s helping me get some things in check. Tonight, I will be going to bed at 10 and I will be putting myself on a schedule.
This Is Us, again, it is an amazing show and I just finished it!
My sister visited this weekend which was great. She recommended I watch Killing Eve. I’m definitely gonna start binging now.