Hello and please allow me to go the fuck off about this summer.
PSA: I plan on being hella raw and incredibly vague for those who are involved with this summer.
When this summer started, I had a list of all the things I wanted to do (check it out here). I’ve done some but the things I found most important are still undone. I wanted to write the first draft of my novel and create an entire outline for my senior project. I wanted to hang out with my friends that I hold so dear to me but… you know… things fall apart.
I knew from the very beginning of this summer that it was going to be about my own growth. I knew that this summer was gonna throw shit at me that I don’t want to even deal with. Like the reality that one of the relationships that I valued was going to go right down the toilet and that another one of my relationships was going to change in an uncomfortable but much-needed way.
People grow apart all the time. In my case, it was always because of a lack of communication. When I noticed that both of these relationships were falling apart, I reached out to them both. One of them listened and expressed their own concerns until we found a loving and mutual agreement and the other… well… I believe we are both lying to ourselves, each other and everyone about what we desire from the relationship. That lack of communication finally ended our relationship and as much as it hurts. I think it’s for the better. I am in no way shape or form ready to just move on from what felt like a very important part in my life so, I’ll allow myself to grieve and keep moving forward.
Relationships end whether you want them to or not.
I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t give up on people but at this moment, I am putting myself first.
Now onto my writing!
So, I got this CRAZY job opportunity where I am basically teaching these kids to be a bit more creative (it’s far more than that but long story short). This opportunity popped up out of the blue and then I kept getting slapped with a bunch more positivity like this dude from Barnes and Noble, who just happens to have graduated from my college and in the same major, offering to help me with my senior project. It was super wild how my life kept throwing positivity at me. I was so wrapped up in work and getting everything done perfectly that I completely forgot to look into my senior project work and to finish my draft of my novel.
I only have a month left of my summer and three weeks of work. HOw the hell will I squeeze in everything? Thankfully, for my SP, all I really have to do is read books. That was all they asked of me. I was trying to go above and beyond since I wasn’t expecting to work.
I’m slightly overwhelmed but I am also super excited about attempting to finish it all up. This summer was not at all what I expected. I adopted a dog and realized the responsibility was bigger than I imagined so I gave him to a loving family. His name is CJ. This summer really REALLY tried it but I know that I will be ending this summer strong. I’m not sure when I’ll be writing again but I hope it’s soon.
My diary entry is now finished. LOL. Thanks for reading.
P.S. I learned how to make Chai Lattes!