I’ve always been into girls but I never really knew it. I mean since I was little, I envisioned husbands and imaginary boyfriends. I had crushes only on men and have worked so very hard to try and date men. When I grew an interest in women in middle school, I thought it was normal. I mean, of course, I am checking her out because I want her body shape and then when I asked my middle school boyfriend if it would be cheating if I had a girlfriend… I somehow thought nothing of it. I didn’t think anything of it when I had sex with a girl in high school. She even asked if we could begin dating but I told her that I had no interest in women at all. Then college came around and I really really knew that I did like women. More time went on and I realized that my only interest in men was compulsive heterosexuality. I felt no real connection to men. I couldn’t fully see that as a lifelong partner. I tried, I dated but I never felt the pull towards them the way I do for women. The excitement, the giggles, the full on admiration. With mne, it was just attraction and nothing more.
I mean… the dick has never been THAT good. No matter how much they boasted about it. But that one night with that girl. That one drunken night stays in my memory and boy did I want to try that again… so I did. And I did it again… and again.. And again. Then I tried men again and it was never as good as it was with women. I tried men a few more times after that but it just never ever felt the same. The confidence of men. They believed they were the best and they never were any good. I took no criticism. I always thought I chose the wrong man but it was just… Men… they weren’t it for me.