I think of love as such a tentative thing.
I think that if I get close
If I try and touch it,
If I hold it in my hand, it will break
The moments when I feel like I could love
I could be loved
I feel the crumble.
I feel the burn.
I feel the break.
So much so
I refuse to touch it
I can’t get near it
I am so scared that it will crumble and break
Loving is scary
And so far
It is so much easier to love one-sided
The side of safety, unsure but nothing is broken
Nothing has crumbled
Nothing has cracked.
On this side, it hurts to think no one will give me love
And no one will love me
I know that on this side, I only give myself great pain
But I also feel so very safe knowing that love will not break
I still don’t know if its the right choice