I think of love as such a tentative thing.

I think of love as such a tentative thing.

I think that if I get close

If I try and touch it, 

If I hold it in my hand, it will break

Crumble

Burn

Disappear.

The moments when I feel like I could love

I could be loved

I hesitate

I feel the crumble. 

I feel the burn.

I feel the break.

So much so

I refuse to touch it

I can’t get near it

I am so scared that it will crumble and break

Loving is scary

And so far

It is so much easier to love one-sided

The side of safety, unsure but nothing is broken

Nothing has crumbled

Nothing has cracked.

On this side, it hurts to think no one will give me love

And no one will love me

I know that on this side, I only give myself great pain

But I also feel so very safe knowing that love will not break

I still don’t know if its the right choice

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