NEW MOOD ALERT!

Hey, cuties!!

The way these past few months went, I’ve finally decided that I want to change so much!! I’ve been wanting so much for myself but I haven’t been moving in alignment with my desires and that’s what I really need to be doing.

I want to be healthy and lose weight. I’ve been gaining weight like crazy for the past few months and it wouldn’t be that much of a big deal if I didn’t notice how unhealthy and disgusting I’ve been feeling. I want to actually exercise instead of saying that I will and not doing it. I can work out every day but I don’t. I promise myself that I will now.

I’ve been wanting to fall in love but trying to rush the process with the wrong people. Shit, I’ve even been humoring and dating the wrong people just because I’ve been craving that experience.

I’ve been letting my impulsive behavior get the best of me. I’ve been drinking and eating like there is no tomorrow. I’ve been shoving all this gross shit down my thoughts and making myself feel like trash. I’m over it! I deserve better! I deserve to treat myself better. I want to get focused and begin to HUSTLE!

Doing what I want for my future and start planning for my desires. I WANT TO START WORKING! But I do have an impulsive nature and I’ll need to meditate to keep myself centered. I forget how much I love rushing things. My new aim is to work for what I want and to also be mindful and patient with what comes my way. I am the queen of multitasking and sometimes I don’t finish things off right.

I want to be similar to Alfie Deyes, who used to barely post or be on his game and now look at him, killing the game. Getting shit done. I’ve always loved watching his videos because they inspire me. I feel weird about a white man inspiring me but… I do admire his hustle, even though it won’t come as easily to me as it does to him.

ANYWAYS! Let’s end this off with a recommendation

Stop eating dairy! I’m sitting in this Starbucks with nasty smelling farts because I decided to eat ice cream and cake (with dairy in it) for the past few days. My stomach feels like garbage and my stomach is so bloated, I look pregnant.

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Feeling​ Ugly

Hello!

Lately, I’ve been feeling ugly.

I know it sounds weird but I’ve been feeling it.

Though if anyone had the freaking nerve to call me ugly, I’d argue with them and tell them I’m beautiful. But when I look in the mirror, I don’t feel it at all.

I want to be completely open about this because I feel like it’s normal to stop feeling yourself as much. I think it’s okay that this is happening even though I hate this feeling.

I finally acknowledged the feeling this summer and now that I noticed it, I know I’ve been feeling it for the past few months. I’ve been hating my look and my outfits and stress eating. I’ve felt so gross about my body and my skin. I feel like I’m missing that glow. I’ve noticed that I’m not as happy and I wake up tired all the time.

It’s really hard for my to put this out there but I want to grow.

I want to feel better about my look. I want to feel sexy and confident and feel like I can kick some ass.

I want to branch out of my comfort zone and do things that make me feel uncomfortable because I think I could gain more confidence by doing things that make me uncomfortable. I want to challenge myself by making healthier choices, eating healthy, sleeping on time, working out. I want to be healthy and happy and do everything to ensure that I become successful.

I’ve been slacking on doing what makes me happy and with taking care of myself. I’ve been letting myself eat all the gross junk foods that I see or eating whatever is easy. I really want to change that up.

I want to do what makes me happy and write more blog posts, stories and edit and upload more videos. I really want to finesse my Instagram. I want to push myself out of my comfort zone and get shit done. I want to do more excersises and eat healthier.

To start off my new lifestyle, I’m doing more yoga and I got grey hair braided in recently to give myself a whole new look. I even got a bob instead of my long hair. It makes me happy to change things up. I feel like I’m becoming a new person. I like it. I know I have so much more growth coming. I like that I am making moves towards becoming the person I want to be.

I want to bring back my weekly recommendations, so here goes:

Do Yoga with Adriene
Read Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes
Watch Gilmore Girls and The Bold Type

Thanks for reading!

Patience is Key!

Hello!

I have such a hard time staying focused on my healing. I feel like I always jump back to bad habits. The habits that make me feel like garbage inside out and that I just don’t move forward. I have no many wants and desires for myself but getting there seems like the hardest thing ever

Staying true to my diet and my physical fitness so that I don’t have ankle pain or fall into a depression or to get a high cholesterol, again. Being on my game seems so hard but doing nothing at all is so easy. I want to be a motivator to get people into doing what is best for them but I feel like it’s a battle for me to get there

I don’t mean to be that hard on myself because I know that everyone grows on a different level. I just want to get all this done. I’m so tired of waiting. I just want to move forward with myself. 

I’m not going to finish this with some intense mission statement like I usually do, I just want to mention that things aren’t easy. Things take time. It’s great to be easy on yourself but also, realize when enough is enough. I have a million and one excuses not do what I need to get done. I know what I need to do to get over these hurdles, I just keep making the choice not to. For me, right now, its all about choice. 

I look at other people and their success and start believing that everyone else is better than me at putting things out there or finding their own theme. Forgetting that I have my own vibe and my own principles that I stick to make my brand my own. I have the power within myself.

It’s the process that gets me, the middle bit. Once I start, I want results immediately. I’m trying to practice patience. It’s always been hard for me to be patient.

Thanks for reading!

The Djenne Diet

Hello, Homies

I’ve been pescatarian-ish for the past few years. I’ve had my meat slip-ups. I have a deep love for chicken tenders, hot wings and I have cravings for a really good steak. Even though I know that meat makes my uterus throw a fit. Eating meat has turned into a form of self-harm. Copious amounts of dairy have been doing the same.

I want to quickly mention the huge stigma there is on being vegan. There are so many vegans who shame the shit out of those who eat meat and act as if going vegan is easy and that everyone should go vegan. Which is totally not true at all. I sometimes go a few weeks vegan and then I get sick or my body gets too cold because I’m a bit anemic. The thing about cutting meat out of your diet is that you’re taking some important vitamins out of your body and so, you’re not getting all the nutrients you need. For me, going vegan, I’d need to take daily supplements for me to stay healthy or finding vegan options that give the same amount of nutrients.

Because my body hates when I eat both dairy and meat, I’ve been wanting to go vegan and I reached out to my vegan friends for their tips and tricks. I’ve heard that watching one of those videos where the kill animals help but… I will not be doing that.

My issue with going fro pescatarian to vegan is creating meals that are filling and flavorful. My thing is that I like constant change in my meals and I have yet to master the art of finessing a vegan menu. I have fake chicken nuggets and tenders, I have some vegan sage sausage and bacon. I have things stocked up. While writing this, I just created an entire meal that I could eat. I think in my transition, it would benefit me if I wrote out things that I can eat every day.

This whole thing is a process and I don’t want to force myself. I ease myself out of eating seafood. Which is harder than not eating meat because I LOVE lobster and crabs and shrimp. I might just cut back on some seafood and cut out the dairy.

Also, there is something called Seagans. Vegans who eat seafood. I thought it was funny because vegans just don’t eat meat at all. You’re simply a pescatarian. I’m gonna be pescatarian until I do more research. I want to become vegan in my own way instead of following other people’s journey.

Right now, I’ll just be incorporating healthier option into my diet. more water, fruits, and vegetables! I am going out for dinner tonight but tomorrow, dinner will be either vegan mac and cheese, a salad and vegan nuggets bathed in hot wing sauce or some pasta with vegan sage sausage.

I just really needed to write it out to sort out my shit.

Thanks for reading!