Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler (non-spoiler review)

HEY! 

I’ve been reading this book since 2016. I wanted to finally read something by the well known Octavia E. Butler. I decided to do a family book club and only one of my sisters actually finished the book. lol

I was starting my college career at Purchase College and decided not to read this book. I am not used to reading adult sci-fi. I feel like adult sci-fi takes a much longer time to get to the main focus of the novel. It’s filled with detail but YA sci-fi gets right into the action which makes it far more exciting in my opinion.

I had to finish this book in order to write my senior project. Once again, it’s taken me months to read it.

When I finally did, I obviously loved it. It could possibly be because of my senior project work but I started reading it and connecting the story to things that happen in real life. I know I can really use this book to help my project which is exciting.

Anyways, let’s begin the review. 

Didn’t like:
I feel like we spent a big chunk of time learning about the MC, Lauren’s, day to day life. I found that to be pretty boring.

Non-spoiler but the MC has this ability that seemed pretty useless in the first book, I hope the next book gives use to this power.

I didn’t like who the MC’s ended up with.

Liked:

I did really like the dystopian world. I feel like Butler created a truly realistic world and a very awesome and intelligent MC.

I love that the main character was black and hella smart. She was smarter than everyone around her and was so creative.

I feel like it was really well written, I got super emotional at some points but I was so wrapped up into it, I couldn’t put it down.

I’m interested in seeing if anyone will die in the next book. The world they live in means death at any turn and I’m so curious to see who will be next. (morbid, I know)

I give the book 4/5 stars. An additional star because the writer and MC were black.

Anyway, thanks so much for reading!

Have you read this book? What did you enjoy?

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Intertwined

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I have a feelings it’s going to be a GREAT year!!! I’M STARTING OFF THE NEW YEAR WITH POEMS!!! I WROTE A BUNCH BEFORE THE YEAR ENDED!

Intertwined
connected like trees
who’ve grown together

connected
like s
ouls
who have

unknowingly morphed
together

sometimes, I don’t know
what’s yours
and what’s mine

sometimes I feel your energy
as if it’s my own

sometimes, I think of
when I connected with you

emotionally in bed talking
about our hurt
hours on the phone
just brightening each other’s day.

feeling your touch on me.

intertwined.
not knowing where your
body started and mine began

feeling your breathing.
knowing you’re there for me
in a way no one has been.

and no one will be.

just as you are/

we are branches that have
grown so close together

I don’t know which pieces
are made of you or which
is made of me

we’ve been ripped apart by a storm
and who knows
if you will be
brought back together

knowing that we are apart,
are we meant to remain
broken and Droopy?

or will we connect
once again?

what we grow to
stand on our own?

will we become two different
trees, blooming
next to each other
but never touching?

I was hungover for an entire day.

Hey!

Okay, so… let me explain!

I wrote in a previous post about having to “break up” with a great friend and love. At the time, I felt like I had all my shit together. I felt like dumping a friend and moving forward was super easy and I felt like I really had it but then all of a sudden sadness hit me.

I was wondering how life would be with that friend in it and moping around about hypotheticals, I’m a REALLY SAPPY bitch. The first Friday back to school, I tried “drinking my feelings”. I was screaming to the entire campus about my sadness, taking shots of vodka, tequila, rum. I gave zero fucks about the next day. I wanted to go big because my feelings were hurt.

The next day, I felt like shit. obviously.

I thought that if I hydrated then I’d feel better.

That didn’t help. I laid in bed with my head spinning and wishing it would end. I was finally able to eat by the end of the night. Then I had work the next day for five hours.

I’m only mentioning all this so that you all can see my mistake and the gravity of it so that my next moves would make sense.

While at work, I finally had time to think without my head spinning. I noted how unhealthy my actions were. For me, a child of alcoholics, I go straight to drinking when I am hurting. Especially when my feelings get her. I wallow in every bad way possible. I eat food that’s bad for me and just all around sad.

It wasn’t until I had a session with my therapist that it finally clicked in my brain why I was behaving like this.

I have issues with my self-image. My father was an abuser to my sisters and me. We were constantly told that we weren’t good enough. I feel like it stuck with me. When I have issues in my relationships where I begin to feel like I’m not good enough, I lash out and start treating myself as such. I think it’s why I have such a hard time living a healthy lifestyle, it’s because a part of me doesn’t see myself as worthy of a healthy lifestyle.

I seriously hope that because I now have a conscious thought, I can now start caring for myself the way I deserve.

The thing is, I spent years not feeling like I was good enough in moments but still forcing myself to push through and keep moving forward.

“Like so what I am missing this relationship, I still have to stick to a blogging schedule.”

Then my blogging schedule will be fucked up (as it has been), and then I will still be sad about this heartbreak and not writing up my posts.

Let me clarify. This heartache I’m feeling, I don’t take the time to be patient and gentle with myself because I would feel like I am both not good enough and “strong” enough to get through it without taking time to sort out my feelings.

When it comes to my feelings, I have this idea that these feelings will go away quickly. I feel that even discussing it with some friends, it would be too annoying to complain so these feelings should end fast.

I’m finding it more and more important to be more gentle with myself. Reminding myself of how precious I am. I want to call myself “babe” and give myself patience and love because I deserve that!

My favorite thing about this year is all that I’ve been learning about myself and all the growth that is happening. I notice how much I’ve been changing.

I am not so excited about changing how I see and handle myself. I want to be handled with care by everyone around me but it all starts with myself.

Recommendations:
Watch Doctor Who & do an MCU binge
Do your work on weekends so you can chill all weekend
Don’t drink your feelings. Just learn how to get through it. Write letters to lost loves and take a bath or something.

Introducing Joe-Ann Mathias

Hey!

I’ve been wanting to have guest writers on my site for a while and my best friend and the beautiful poet, Joe-Ann is the very first person! Without further ado, here she is! Give her a round of applause

Thinkin Bout You…

I look up at the clock and it’s 11:11pm…  I close my eyes and I Make A Wish …a wish for you, A wish where you’d finally see my worth and come to your senses so later we could hook up naked with a hope to be in each other’s arms In order for you to feel what I feel for you. our skin touching, our bodies moving entwined while we lose our minds, we cum hard & senselessly … opening my eyes now I am interrupted by the hot wetness that is between my thighs… I Smile, this is what you do to me, returning to reality … 12:00am …. thinking of having you always takes up my time. I just wish you were already mine. – @JoeannLyn

Here’s the lil blurb about me: 

 Hey Guys!! My Names Joe-Ann & I’m 23 years young ♥️ Creativity has always been my thing! As a woman, I feel it is extremely important that I let my creativity pour out in the things that I do, say, wear, fuck, and eat! I’m all about togetherness & love. 

“When we empower women, society benefits, grows, and thrives “- Paul Polman