There is something I’d like to get off my chest and I would just like to share it with you all so… here goes.
This year has been explorative. I’ve been trying to understand and enjoy myself. I’ve been loving myself and trying to figure out what I want in life. I think everyone deserves to take a break and figure out what they need or what they want. I’ve talked to a lot of people older than me to kind of get advice from them and they always make it seem like in the future my life would be basic. Like I’ll go to college and get really far in my college degree, get a masters degree in Media Communications or something (I’m studying Media right now but I’ve been thinking about changing it to something else). Those college years would be my years of exploring and of “fun”. After I get my degree, I would try to get a job in the field I graduated in, whether I like it or not. Then settle down, have a couple kids and maybe have one vacation a year but my problem is that I don’t see my life like that at all and sometimes it frustrates me that so many people I know expect that to be everyone’s norm and that that’s how it should be for everyone.
I don’t want to live like that. I want to find myself while exploring cool new things, I want to travel the world and understand and experience great new things. I’d like to find a way to see things. I think everyone should have the chance to see the world. This planet is so huge with so many opportunities that the idea of just having to live that same old boring life that so many people live does not sound fun to me at all. I want to live in different places and understand their sort of normality. I’d like to one day get married, and possibly have kids but I also want my kids to have a sense of adventure, to be able to see this whole world and understand the people around the globe.
I hope someone understands me but what I want the most is to experience. I don’t want to spend the time of my life when I’m physically fit and can eat anything I want just sitting in college, in a dorm with boring ass professors when I can actually be road tripping or living in some other place. Building friendships all around the world and when I’m old, I just hope that along the way I’ve made enough money to read a bunch of books and hang with my family, which I’m sure I will have. I just need to figure out my way. My own path because this path that I’m taking now has me unhappy so often and I feel pressure to keep going. I don’t mind getting the associates degree (which I will be getting next year). It just bothers me the idea of spending so many more years like this. I’ve never liked school. Ever. I always hated it. I don’t like the tests that we always have to take and I also hate the way that I’ve always been taught. I’ve always been so bored in school. It’s never been fun for me. I’d like to find a different way. I’ve been trying to figure it out all year.
I hope to find some clarity sometime soon…
This year I’ve had the honor of meeting someone who has helped me get a bit of clarity about what I should think about doing. His name is Gary Gene. He passed away this year because of cancer. He was an amazingly positive young man. He was 23 and his spirit was so positive. The world will miss him. He had a YouTube channel. Please check out his channel. I hope to spread his positive energy.
There will be a new post on the books I’ve read in September next Wednesday so keep a look out!
See ya! and thank you for reading!