Change

Hey!

I want to have a media platform that shows my complete honesty. I want to be open with my audience and always tell you what’s up.

So, let’s begin.

School has been a constant stress for me, at least  all the dull public schools and now dull community college that I’ve been to. I see potential in school, I think it can be fun but so far, all my experiences have been dull and dry. School has been something that sucked the fun out of me. I hoped that going to college would change that for me but my college sucked me so dry that I lost my energy, my drive, I got lazy and I did’t find the joy in the thing I loved. I loved writing, making videos, singing and dancing, playing video games, binge watching shows and reading. Though I was able to do some of those things, It was done half-assed because I just was not  feeling it.

I’ve taken time from school and i’m currently on my break, I went to my doctor a week after I took my time off and she told me that I was depressed. That shocked me to my core, I knew these things happen to people and I knew it happened to me before but that really hit me into reality. I realized I was back in that place I was a few years back.

My doctor prescribed me some medication and I figured this depression would go away quickly but, I am still working my way out of this. I’m still trying to figure everything out, to get my footing and get this grey blob out of my body. To bring back the sunshine I used to feel.

I’ve decided to give myself projects and I’d like to share them with you (They aren’t in any particular order):

Project Blog:
As much as I’d love to get back into the bookish world and start doing reviews and making videos and all the fun stuff, I don’t have it in me yet. I may not have that yet but I do have  stories. I started this writing program called Gotham Writers. They aren’t free, just a heads up. I’m taking a creative writing course and we should be having some writing done every week that I’d like to post here, after I get the corrections from my teacher. I’d also like to post short stories that I’ve been working on but haven’t shared with anyone. I think it would be beneficial for my to keep writing. My mind has always been filed with stories and here is my outlet.
I’d also like to start working on my photography. I’ve always loved photography. I want to produce more of what I enjoy.

Project YouTube:
I really want my channel to grow but I feel like it would grow more if I grow more with my creativity for the channel. There are many YouTubers that I truly enjoy watching for their artsy videos. I’d like to channel that into my channel.I’d like to grow so I’m taking time from my youtube channel to see how I can grow.

Project Fitness:
Eating more fruits and veggies, drinking water, doing yoga, going to the gym. I hear that helps with depression and getting a hot ass body. I came from the gym today now I’m in a cafe. Getting a change in my environment is helping me to get stuff done and also getting me broke.

Those three are what I’m trying to focus on. I also want to start brightening my work with brighter clothes. I didn’t want to leave my house today because my outfit was completely grey. I felt so uncomfortable in it. I want to brighten my world again and it’ll happen one step at a time. I’m trying to be positive and stop stressing about certain things or thinking that I’m so weird that this is happening to me. I’m trying. I really am. I just need to stop pressuring myself. Things take time.

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